You wrote me about confidence a couple weeks ago. You said it's hard to be confident as you teach or knock doors because your Portuguese isn't great yet. As I was thinking about a message I could write to help, I couldn't help but be reminded of what has come to be known as "The Missionary Commission." It was supposedly delivered by Elder McConkie when he served as a mission president in Australia. I couldn't find anything official on it but I could find it on some non-official sites like LDS Church Quotes. You know I'm not a huge fan of some of Elder McConkie's writings, but the law of oppositions seems to hold true within his dissertations. He is the author of some of my favorite, and some of my least favorite LDS literature.
President McConkie gave this to the missionaries under his presiding authority, "I am called of God. My authority is above that of the kings of the earth. By revelation I have been selected as a personal representative of the Lord Jesus Christ. He is my Master and he has chosen me to represent him. To stand in his place, to say and do what he himself would say and do if he personally were ministering to the very people to whom he has sent me. My voice is his voice, and my acts are his acts; my words are his words and my doctrine is his doctrine. My commission is to do what he wants done. To say what he wants said. To be a living modern witness in word and deed of the divinity of his great and marvelous latter-day work."
What more can be said? Write it down. Memorize it. Do whatever you have to do to keep these truths in the front of your mind on those tough days.
One other thing came to my mind as I pondered your struggle with confidence. It's a story from church history that you might be familiar with. The Church was receiving heavy persecution. The Hauns Mill Massacre was still fresh in the minds of members. Joseph Smith, Sidney Rigdon, Parley P. Pratt, and other church leaders had been taken captive. They were, "penned up in a cold, open, unfinished court house, in which situation they remained for some weeks, while their families were suffering severe privations... It was a very severe time of snow and winter weather, and [they] suffered much," (The Autobiography of Parley P. Pratt, Chapter 26). Sidney Rigdon was very sick and delirious. I am sure they were miserable, hungry, cold, and they likely had dampened spirits. But the experience Elder Pratt writes about next is simply astonishing.
"In one of those tedious nights we had lain as if in sleep till the hour of midnight had passed, and our ears and hearts bad been pained, while we had listened for hours to the obscene jests, the horrid oaths, the dreadful blasphemies and filthy language of our guards, Colonel Price at their head, as they recounted to each other their deeds of rapine, murder, robbery, etc., which they had committed among the "Mormons" while at Far West and vicinity. They even boasted of defiling by force wives, daughters and virgins, and of shooting or dashing out the brains of men, women and children.
"I had listened till I became so disgusted, shocked, horrified, and so filled with the spirit of indignant justice that I could scarcely refrain from rising upon my feet and rebuking the guards; but had said nothing to Joseph, or any one else, although I lay next to him and knew he was awake. On a sudden he arose to his feet, and spoke in a voice of thunder, or as the roaring lion, uttering, as near as I can recollect, the following words:
"SILENCE, ye fiends of the infernal pit. In the name of Jesus Christ I rebuke you, and command you to be still; I will not live another minute and hear such language. Cease such talk, or you or I die THIS INSTANT!
"He ceased to speak. He stood erect in terrible majesty. Chained, and without a weapon; calm, unruffled and dignified as an angel, he looked upon the quailing guards, whose weapons were lowered or dropped to the ground; whose knees smote together, and who, shrinking into a corner, or crouching at his feet, begged his pardon, and remained quiet till a change of guards.
"I have seen the ministers of justice, clothed in magisterial robes, and criminals arraigned before them, while life was suspended on a breath, in the Courts of England; I have witnessed a Congress in solemn session to give laws to nations; I have tried to conceive of kings, of royal courts, of thrones and crowns; and of emperors assembled to decide the fate of kingdoms; but dignity and majesty have I seen but once, as it stood in chains, at midnight, in a dungeon in an obscure village of Missouri," (Pratt, Chapter 26).
Elder Pratt's words convey the power of the experience so well. I feel it every time I read this story.
Joseph Smith had so much reason to be afraid. He was weak, chained and surrounded by armed guards who hated him. Where did he find the confidence with which he spoke? I believe he was confident because he knew he spoke with true power and authority, using the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Joseph was a large man, and perhaps he was angry, but the guards had no reason to fear a hungry, cold, unarmed prisoner bound by chains. They did, however, have reason to fear the power of God, which I am certain was manifested by the Holy Spirit as Joseph Smith rebuked them that dreadful night. I am certain that he astonished them in the truest sense of the word: a word derived from a Latin word meaning "to thunder."
You will probably spend days on your mission walking for hours on end in 100% humidity and 105 degrees of heat, being eaten alive by mosquitoes. You will probably have been rejected dozens of times. You'll have doors slammed in your face. The people will be rude. Some might make fun of your Portuguese. You might be hungry and tired and have hardly a desire to keep working.
On those days, you remember in whose name you are preaching. Your Portuguese might not be perfect. You might be figuratively bound by the chains of the language barrier, but your words won't be what touch the hearts of those to whom you preach. Find your confidence in the power of God, which is manifested by the Holy Spirit as you testify in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. That's what will touch their hearts. And they will be astonished.
I'll finish up with a scripture and then I'll include a Spanish fail of mine from my mission. I hope it makes you laugh!
"But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions; Partly, whilst ye were made a gazing stock both by reproaches and afflictions; and partly, whilst ye became companions of them that were so used. For ye had compassion of me in my bonds, and took joyfully the spoiling of your goods, knowing in yourselves that ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance. Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward," (Hebrews 10:32-35).
And here's the story to finish up.
I was in my training and it was my turn to do the contact. It seemed like it was always my turn... In Chile, there are fences around all of the houses, so you have to yell "Alo!" as loudly as you can for people to come out. A man came to the door, but stayed at the doorway. He had a big patio so there was a lot of space between us and it was hard to hear. He looked like he had been doing construction and I understood that he couldn't come to the gate and that he was doing something in the bathroom. I figured he was fixing his sink or something and so offered help just as sincerely as I could. He gave me a weird look and then slammed the door. Afterward, my companion started yelling at me, and I had no clue why. He explained that the man had actually said that he couldn't come to the gate because he had diarrhea and I offered to help him with that. Bet you can't one-up that one ;)
I love you Luke! Keep working hard!
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